“First day of my rental car road trip.”

“Welp…there goes her new bed.”

“Was invited on my first date since the corona pandemic (European time). As soon as we began discussing date details, Facebook services crashed and now I’m reading a book alone in a bar.”

“Came out of class on Saturday to my car being used as a seesaw. I had wheel locks too.”

“How hard can it be to unlock the front door while carrying a pizza? Not that hard, right? RIGHT?!”

“Hey McDonald’s, it would be nice for those of us that ask for NO ICE to get a full drink!”

“Found this inside a washing machine at work.”

Welp.

“How is your lunch going?”

“Left the window open on a windy day and came home to find my tooth brush had been blown off the windowsill.”

“I was cleaning my glasses and then…”

“My lasagna pan exploded.”

“Titanium blades don’t help a lot if the handles can’t take the force.”

“Who didn’t replace the bags in the diaper pale?”

“Just installed grass and USPS must’ve hated it.”

“Because I wasn’t already running late for work.”

“4 days after moving to Chicago.”

“Shoe decided to fall apart before my wedding.”

“$400ish worth of damage so they could steal a $30 dash cam and my lunch…”

“The drive up ATM decided to crash right when I put my debit card in, preventing me from retrieving it. I was pretty late to work.”

“Worked overtime. Didn’t eat since breakfast. Ordered pizza delivery from skip the dishes. Got this.”

“When no one notices the cooler stopped working.”